" Light at the end of the tunnel "
I am Owen.
In fact, I had a head start. I have been simmering my crisis for quite a while now. When it finally broke, it came in the form of an affair, a divorce and the closing down of my business.
“ life, a dark tunnel ”
I am 43 now, just ripe for a mid-life crisis. All my life experience and knowledge, all that I have come to expect, all the rules of games / plays I have followed and rehearsed were of no help. I found myself slipping down a long slide. I was totally scared. I was absolutely lonely and I couldn’t see the end of the dark tunnel.
After almost two years of tumbling in the dark tunnel, I decided, it was enough !
I managed to stop myself long enough to reach out for help. Contacting a healer I had worked with before in a past-life regression session, I asked her, “ How can I reach out to some light from where I am now, and start living again ?? ”
“ a new experience ”
In our conversation, she suggested I attend a FAIR, an EXPO on holistic living and alternative healing. My mind started to race with thoughts of weird hippies that rarely bathed and smoked a lot. ( I did not imagine drugs as this is Singapore )
Knowing I had nothing else to loose, I went.
I don’t remember the actual day or time of the EXPO but I will never forget what I saw. I remember the guy who was prancing around wearing angel wings and a makeshift halo and waving a huge stick that made the sounds of falling rain as he turned it around another man lying face down on a massage chair !
I saw a lady introducing various oils and incense from a booth offering Ayurvedic services and people hovering intensely over gothic looking playing cards !
But most memorable of all was that of a man in long sleeves and work pants, looking very corporate and executive, standing in front of some pyramid shaped plastics that were suspended in the air. He was talking to a slightly frazzled lady and there were two children playing happily around the booth. Probably, they were the lady’s kids by the look of things.
There were brochures displayed and I tentatively took some. ( I must confess, I did not read them ) . Just as I was about to leave, I saw a sign. A contest drawing for the lucky EXPO visitor. I decided to try my luck filling in my particulars. With that, I walked away, wondering to myself, what possessed me to even consider coming to this event. I decided it was time for a good cup of coffee, a nice lunch, then, back to my safe, lonely flat to watch STAR TREK for the 14th time. And that was seemingly that. In all it was totally a new experience in my life.
“ I check my mail-box ”
I woke up one Sunday feeling especially miserable. Sitting in the dark, crying .. hoping no one would see me. Then it dawned upon me. There was no one. I pulled myself off my butt and logged on the internet hoping it would keep me entertained for the next twelve hours.
I checked my mailbox and found it full of junk mail. There was one particular sender taking up more space that usual. After some thinking( which was difficult as I have learned that brains don’t work well when depressed )
I realized it was the organizer of the recent EXPO I had attended. A part of me regretted entering that lucky draw. Guessing it was probably safe, I opened it. Once again, scrolling down, I was drawn to the information about PYRAMID MEDITATION.
“ pyramid meditation society ”
The website introduced BRAHMARSHI PATRIJI, founder of the PYRAMID SPIRITUAL SOCIETIES MOVEMENT, INDIA . He was in town giving lectures. I had missed the first but there was still one more scheduled for that day. I thought of the professional-looking man at the pyramid booth thinking, “ I still have enough time to make it. ” Still, I hesitated. Scrolling down further I read “ ADMISSION IS FREE ”.
As any good Singaporean will tell you ( or anyone who has lived here most of their life ), it is a national travesty to pass over anything that is FREE. I picked myself up, showered and got ready to go for the session.
That lecture was to be my introduction to Pyramid Meditation. The man I saw at the fair was none other than SHASHI. This happened in the month of JANUARY, 2011 .. and it has been an amazing journey since !
“ meditation ”
MEDITATION helps me to slow down.
MEDITATION helps in bringing about greater perspective towards all that happens around me.It particularly showed me that there is LIGHT at the end of the tunnel.
MEDITATION did not turn me into a different person. It made me be more of myself.
MEDITATION did not seek to change me but help me accept who I was.
MEDITATION allows a safe place for me to feel my emotions and for awareness to come out of those emotions. It helps me come to terms with the many relationships in my life. While there is still pain and regret, there is also now some great FUN and some great TRUST.
MEDITATION helps me see business in a different light. While there are still worries about how I am going to pay my rent next month, it is still possible to walk away from business opportunities that offer financial security and emotional despair !
MEDITATION is also an anchor.
MEDITATION brought about the ability to step up and offer my services. Volunteering came naturally as I wanted to make sure the opportunity for peace is always there for those needing it, such as myself.
“ i volunteer to lead ”
Sundays are days I look forward to again since I volunteer to lead one of our weekly pyramid meditation sessions. I always look forward to meditating and sharing with fellow meditators. This has truly taught me the meaning of reaping that which one sows. I always seem to receive more than I share at each of the sessions I lead. And with each passing session, the rewards I receive seem to grow !
“ brahmarshi patriji ”
It has also been a great honor spending time with BRAHMARSHI PATRIJI on his recent AUGUST 2011 trip to Singapore.
A man with no pretenses. He expresses his feelings fully. Spending time with him has been humbling, learning and challenging.
HUMBLING : Because here is a man who literally can have the world at his feet, yet he prefers to share his simple meals with strangers !
Here is a man who has a commanding presence when he holds an audience of thousands in his home-land, yet he happily shares his wisdom with me as we travel in the car ! It was as if there was no one else in the world except the few of us at that moment !
LEARNING : Because his strong, unwavering opinions on matters meant, that I now have to look at what I have come to accept as ‘ truths ’ and ‘ values ’.
This piece of writing is another learning experience, commencing with Brahmarshi Patriji’s direction to write down my experiences and to complete it in time for the immediate next edition of SPIRITUAL INDIA MAGAZINE.
Writing one’s experiences and seeing it stare back at you is highly recommended for anyone who is in the process of Soul searching !
CHALLENGING : Because in our quest for enlightenment, we are to embrace all there is to embrace .. physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. While all the experiences we gather may seem real and laden with memories, emotions and attachments, it is but a “ wisp of air ”.
“ key spiritual lessons ”
On this very precious spiritual journey, I have come to realize a few key lessons :
TO LISTEN TO ONE’S SELF : Each of us has all the answers to all of our life’s questions .... if only we stop long enough, and listen to ourselves. Our minds are so busy playing to the expectation and norms of society. Meditation helps one QUIET the mind enough to hear our own self.
TO BE OPEN : There is much to experience and learn on our life’s journey. We need to stay open and embrace the many experiences and lessons that present themselves. Some may be easier to embrace, some a little harder .. but all add up to a FULLER cup.
TO REACH OUT : Life is about growing,expanding, loving. To embrace life is to grow and to expand and to love.
As we struggle to take the next step forward,when we feel we do not have what it takes,we can always reach out and the Universe will offer READY HELP .. be it in the form of a kind friend, or a timely email that offers a free talk !
TO PERSEVERE : While there are great masters out there encouraging us to reach our true purpose in this life-time, we too must do our part to consistently stay on our PATH.Meditation is one way. Vegetarianism is another. Embracing these practices helps us pave our grounds so that when masters come, we are ready to co-create the most beautiful wonders with them.
“ embrace love ..embrace life ”
I am now walking on air ! And everything in my life is perfect !! I still work to pay the rent. However, instead of it becoming a debilitating fear that cripples me into ‘ I must make lots of money ’ mode, it just reminds me that I still need to work.
LOVE is LIFE. And, if we walk away from LIFE, the regret we feel will eat at us till there is nothing left.
Embrace LOVE, embrace LIFE .. even if it is painful .. because just on the other side of pain is the most beautiful, soothing joy just waiting for each and everyone of us.