" Patriji is my guru "
I am Alekhya.
I am working currently as a consultant in " Protiviti " .. a multi national company in New Delhi. By nature, I have always been active and my mother believing in the idiom " An idle mind is a devil's workshop " ensured that I was always involved in different kinds of extracurricular activities .. including lawn tennis, classical dance, Carnatic music, swimming etc., since child-hood.
My mother took me to all those classes and showed great interest in all my activities. Today, I am grateful for her forward thought, because those activities enabled me to view situations in a different perspective.
During my teenage years, I was known for my rebellious, impulsive, stubborn and insensitive nature. It was really a tough time for my parents. Usually our weekends would always end up in huge fights, which my parents would eventually give in because it was easier for them to do so than to make me understand.
From my perspective, after every fight, would introspect over my behaviour and would apologise to my parents. However, I always felt guilty, because I knew you can never really forget the harsh words used, even though my parents would understand and everything would be back to normal again.
Throughout my child-hood I had secretly seen my father " Shri D.L.N. Shastri " .. as a great role model, working passionately in all the jobs / positions he had held, counselling youngsters, always maintaining a positive attitude and aspired to be like my mother .. " Smt. Vasantha " .. for the strong values she upholds and always maintaining dignity and grace in any kind of situation. I reveal these secretly because, till now, I never expressed such feelings to my parents.
Growing up in big cities and being a part of a traditional brahmin household, I always felt a sense of freedom but was never able to find the balance between the modern and traditional. I was never " God-fearing ", because the concept of a single God being responsible for the entire creation was not something I could digest. Nevertheless, I felt that there surely exists a force that drives the entire universe. This force could be God, but I did not want to give a name to it. Yet, whenever I needed, I would go to a temple and pray God pleading and making bargains to get my ' wishes ' fulfilled.
Amongst all my friends, I was always a fun-loving, adventurous and friendly person. However, when I was alone, I used to feel sad and lonely.
Academically, I always fared quite well, but I was never ambitious towards anything in particular. I used to teach underprivileged children in the evenings and tried to find shelter homes and rescued stray animals whenever possible. I wanted to contribute and had a satisfying feeling after helping others, but it was short lived because I saw so much pain and suffering all around. I yearned to be passionate, but could not identify my passion even though I knew helping others would make me feel good.
I was always disconnected with my surroundings. Being a part of everything, yet not being able to enjoy anything completely. Basically, I was confused. My parents always felt my confusion because it all got translated into my erratic behaviour.
As a solution to my confusion, I was introduced to " Prakruti Yoga Meditation " .. part of the Nirmala Devi group .. by our family astrologer. I meditated sincerely as taught by him and now that I think about, I was mostly drawn towards it because their belief was similar to that of mine. After some time though, I started using this meditation also to bargain with the unknown God-force to grant me wishes. Obviously, it was a hit and trial method and it used to work once in a while. Eventually, my interest in this activity also faded and I stopped this practise.
During this lull period I was erratic, extremely sensitive and continued to be a difficult teen for my parents. Internally, I could not understand the reason for the contrasting emotions I felt in a few moments or my relation to my friends and family. I did not question .. why I am the way I am because I took it for granted but wondered why everything else is the way it is.
During that period, my father became seriously ill and the doctor recommended that he should use meditation as a stress buster.
Following some subconscious grand design planned by my parents for themselves, they got closely associated with " PSSM ".
It all began very simply by two young pyramid masters from Hyderabad, " Maruti " and " Linga Reddy " who frequently visited our house on every Sunday and shared their experiences and taught meditation to us. At that time, I was very cordial with them and grudgingly used to sit in meditation sessions.
Many PSSM masters have visited our house. During one such visits, I met " Bhanu Prasad Sir ", who spoke about several benefits of meditation and shared his personal experience. Then, I was deeply moved by his personal experience, and decided to give meditation a serious try.
As circumstances would have it, I could not clear the CA papers in the first attempt and I was preparing to appear for it again. At that juncture, I was introduced to " Premnath Sir " by my father over phone. Although, I had not met him personally, I talked to him intimately like an old friend. He spoke very gently. While meditating with him ( under his guidance over phone ) I visualized bright light penetrating through my eyes. Since it was my first visual experience, I was overwhelmed and realised that I was on a spiritual journey.
Even before I started meditating, I was very happy to know that an organization by name " PSSM " existed which gives more importance for commonsense than the by-gone traditions and ritualistic beliefs. Thus, the core philosophy of PSSM being to share experiences and read spiritual books tremendously fascinated me.
As I began meditating, I started implementing this philosophy and slowly, started understanding the crux behind it.
My first spiritual book was the " Third-eye " by T. Lobsang Rampa. When I was reading the book, every night I would introspect over the experiences of that great master and I started to realize that everything is destined by our own thoughts and perception. I had always enjoyed reading, but now I have strengthened my vigour and passion to learn and share the experiences.
During my initial meetings with " Patri Sir ", I was always hesitant to share my experiences. I used to keep observing him and I was amazed with his tremendous communication skills .. dealing with everyone around him .. as if doing some ' sahasra avadhanam '. That was almost three years ago.
I don't remember when I decided to acknowledge that he is my " GURU ", because he became my friend so easily. Every time he would visit or I would talk to him on the phone, I would share the books we were reading, as well as all my wild thoughts.
Patri Sir would put things in their right perspective so simply that you could hardly deny it. While I observed him from a distance, Patri Sir was someone who teaches not by his words but with his actions. And from my previously felt turmoil and confusion, I realized that no two persons are alike and yet they are not different from one another. I got answer to my question of : " Why everything is the way it is .. because it is supposed to be the way it is. "
Everything is a matter of perception. There is so much to learn based on our own perception of each situation and moment. There is so much to experience and imbibe also.
Meditation has given me the perspective to be aware in each moment and realize that significance of this energy being what we are. Everything has a meaning and purpose and, yet, on the grand scale, nothing ever really matters.
And yet, everything is happening !
For those who know me and for those who don't, during this life-time my name is " Alekhya ". I have come on to this planet to share my EXPERIENCES and .. to just BE .. and to ENJOY !
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