" Anapanasati .. in my Life "
My name is Sivaramappa.
Recently, I retired as Chief Accounts Officer from Bharat Sanchar Nigam Limited, Bangalore.
I am a native of Kurnool Town in Andhra Pradesh, coming from a poor family. I had acquired my graduation while working. Changing several places in my service, I happened to be in Bangalore since 1990.
I had the fortune of meeting Brahmarshi Patriji, here in Bangalore, introduced to me by one of my relatives of Kurnool and by Dharmavaram Pyramid Masters during Oct. 1997. In the very same meeting on that day, Patriji’s apt and simple truth of ‘ dhyana ’ has brought in a ‘ U ’ turn in my understanding and cleared the spiritual path-way instantly for me !
My experiences in dhyana took me to new spiritual heights leading to my vigorous swadhyaya which fetched me a degree too of ‘ Master of Science [ Yoga ] ’ from a local university. Anapanasati thus made me a ‘ Master of Yoga Science ’, besides presenting all happiness and joy in every moment of my life, including that of my family members.
“ Anapanasati ” in my life brought about such a change that I started mentioning ‘ B.Sivaramappa ’ as ‘ the name ’ assigned to my physical body by my parents and I remain myself overseeing my karmas in absolute awareness !
I am basically a salaried person with a scaled income per month. I was pulling on my family with the limited resources. As the family grew bigger, I was pushed to much more embarrassing problems on all fronts.
Although I had sufficient income for the family needs, the affluent families around me were the cause of concern for various issues for me one way or the other. There was always a lot of grumbling in the family for something or the other.
I had to change myself to an executive position by passing the requisite tests etc. The comfort level was still far off. There was no change in the quality of life and it was always wanting. No doubt, I had pleasant situations as well, but, I had plenty of unpleasant ones too ! Leading the past twenty five to thirty years, with absolutely no charm, has been the dull characterstic of my life.
I used to think I was not capable enough. I used to think that I had limited orbit and had no entitlement to aspire for superior life, name and fame. Inferiority complex used to surface in me. My mind used to agitate restlessly. There was continuous search some ‘ x-factor ’ in my life.
I had to change the places of duty in the course of my official career. Change of places used to give some new environment and soon after the very same old way of life used to reappear in no time. This is not to say that I did not progress at all. It is true that I did progress. I cannot say that I did not know real ‘ spiritual things ’. However, I cannot also say that I knew ‘ spiritual things ’ really !
It is not that I did not have capacities. It is not that I did not solve problems. I solved problems after problems. I did win many people’s hearts ... and I also lost many people too. And the real problem was that problems kept on arising endlessly. Life looked routine, tiresome, and meaningless.
I should mention that I had also the fear psychosis. Not of leading life. But the fear of being surrounded always by others’ point of view, as to how I would be in their view. Fear was not in doing things, but about the results! This temperament had its own effect on the decision making process. With this backdrop, problem solving was not that easy, fast or correct.
In the spiritual field too, as I already put it, I had no headway. Usual customs of our family that include idol worship, visiting temples, bhajans etc figured. Traditional puja vidhana etc have been the daily routines with no factual effect on the quality of life.
In my childhood, I have studied Sanskrit as the main language in the School. There were books on Bhagavad Gita, Bhaja Govindam, Ramayana etc. ... prescribed for studies. I was a good student with high ranking in the class in all subjects including Sanskrit. My teachers also loved me very much.
However, all my reading of these scriptures was only for securing marks in the examination. I never knew that they were for actual implementation in our daily lives ... and I did not activate the same in the true spirit in my life. I did not derive any practical benefit from the spiritual scriptures I read !
It is at this juncture, of an empty state of my being, that anapanasati made in-roads into my life. It all started when I first met Brahmarshi Patriji some time in 1997.
One day, in the year 1997, not knowing who Patriji was, I just sat before him and sought his blessing in the routine way, as anyone does while meeting Gurujis. I was also expecting in the very same way that the Guruji would give blessings saying, ‘ May God bless you ’. I was sure that all that could happen would be only listening to some good words quoted from some shlokas etc. However, to my surprise, nothing of that sort happened ! In place of routine blessings, I received a thunderous question from Patriji :
“ Why do you need my blessings ? ”
I was supposed to answer the question ! The answer I was to give ofcourse would expose my weakness and me openly ! It was not possible for me to answer and in a way to accept my weakness.
To admit that I needed blessings was nothing but pure acceptance of weakness or incapability in me to face my own issues ! This sort of unexpected turn of the event triggered a sudden, deep insight into myself to know the then prevailing ugly low confidence and ignorance in me and the lack of will to face the challenges in the life !
Gradually, in the following days, a greater introspection arose and a deeper understanding of the wonderful question posed to me crystallized !
Things became more and more clear and it was logically evident that seeking blessings was created out of a state of dependency ... making one a little more dependent !
Patriji is the one master who makes everyone independent instantly !
Guruji wanted me, that is B. Sivaramppa, to be independent and not dependent ! Guruji wanted to fill self-confidence in me ! Guruji wanted to prepare me to face all my life challenges on my own ! Guruji wanted to convey that I needed blessings from no one !
As I was introspecting on these lines, before answering Guruji for a while, Guruji suddenly shouted at me ‘ Aham Brahmasmi ’, and stared into my eyes as if releasing an arrow to capture the target !
I was stunned at these words, although those words were anciently familiar to me ! And this ‘ asthra ’ which is nothing but ‘ Brahmaasthra ’, torn me to pieces and killed the ugly and weak person in me in one stroke !
I am the Brahman !
I am the almighty !
I am the all-powerful !
I am the God ! Ayam Atma Brahmaha !
All that I studied in my childhood turned suddenly meaningful ! The message was crystal clear ! No blessings from anyone whatsoever ! One is all-powerful ! There is nothing impossible ! We can understand any Truth ! We can accomplish any thing !
I got suddenly energized ! All my ignorance was wiped out ! I became truly strong !
I was amazed to see these changes happening suddenly. I came out openly and said almost with joy and happiness, “ Yes, Aham Brahma Asmi, I can do things alone ”. What a wonderful enlightenment it was ! There was no answer and no discussion or explanation whatsoever ! One question from Brahmarshi Patriji ... and thousand flowers of enlightenment bloomed in me in a matter of seconds !
Brahmarshi Patriji then gave the methodology of ‘ Anapanasati Meditation ’.
It was not at all difficult for me to understand the method of meditation.
Brahmarshi was very clear that every one has to do meditation and not merely learn about it. In fact, every one knows something or the other about meditation but never they actually sit for meditation ! And, I was also one among them !
I always knew that meditation was very important. But I never thought of it, leave alone practicing it. All other spiritual leaders, whom I met, advised meditation also, but never were they serious of its implementation. Fortunately, I happened to meet a Real Brahmarshi who is truly the Guru caring for its implementation so that every one of us would enjoy the fruits of meditation.
I took the cue and I took to anapanasati meditation very seriously. I sat in meditation for longer hours and practiced and practiced !
Meditation is very very simple. It is closing the eyes, crossing fingers and legs and witnessing normal breathing. Observation of breathing process leads to a thought-free state and silencing of the mind.
I had number of experiences, starting with seeing beautiful colors, white milky ocean, and I also saw one day, the idol of ‘ Vigneswara ’ with tremendous focus of white rays upon me. A flood of peace started settling down in me !
Brahmarshi Patriji is quite unique in as much as he makes the subject utterly easy and readily understandable ! He declares “ I am not the Guru, I am only an informer, I am only a Spiritual Scientist. You are the Guru for yourself. Everyone has to work for himself / herself and liberate their own selves ”. These words of truth influence not only me but the whole mankind !
Guruji directed me to work for propagation of anapanasati meditation among the masses in the City of Bangalore. I took up the task honestly and, in this direction, I organized several public meetings for Guruji’s discourses in the years 1998,1999 and so on. It was at this time, we translated Guruji’s most fundamental book, “ Tulasi dalam ”, into Kannada and got it published.
Further, I also turned myself towards vigorous ‘ Swadhyaya ’ in the meantime. I started re-reading Hindu scriptures as well as philosophies of other cultures. The enormous study gave me tremendous insights !
I decided to subject myself to a complete round of Vedic studies. I joined one of the institutes known for Spiritual Studies, where I had an opportunity to go through Vedic Messages, Upanishads, Bhagavad Gita, Yogvasishta, Hatha Yoga Pradeepika, Pathanjali Yoga Sutras, Vivekachudamani etc etc and other Vedic material under the guidance of learned pundits.
All these years, since 1998, I must add that I never felt sorrowful the way I was earlier ! I never felt the life boredom. I never looked back. The fatigue, the inactivity, the fear psychosis, etc etc., did not bother me any more !
I started realizing that I have changed my attitudes ... while all other circumstances remained as they were. I have changed my perception of looking at the happenings while they remained unchanged. I have changed my reaction to those events even while they keep happening the same way. I have changed my attitude towards my fellow beings even while they remain the same. I changed my responses to the circumstances in which I am placed.
I dropped the idea that I need to claim superiority over others. I started seeing godliness in everyone. I started loving and accepting others as they are. I started enjoying all the events happening all around me and I love to be absolutely calm in my mind !
I learnt to operate from the Soul and not from the mind level. I learnt what to speak, how to speak and how much to speak.
I learnt to do all my karmas properly. Quiet detachment has settled in my life. I do the things and do not hanker on the results. I practice ‘ nishkama karma ’. I gave up idol worship.
I was a non-vegetarian earlier. I gave up non-vegetarian food since the time I took anapanasati meditation. Not only myself, my family members also turned pure vegetarians.
I love to teach meditation. I conduct meditation classes in various parts of the City of Bangalore. I arrange public meetings for Patriji’s discourses in the City. I enjoy the teachings of Patriji as he delivers his discourses in the meetings.
At the behest of Patriji, I now manage the monthly magazine, ‘ Dhyana Karnataka ’ for the benefit of all. The magazine contains the text of Patriji’s teachings translated from English and Telugu ... extracted from the magazines ‘ Spiritual India ’, ‘ Dhyanaandhrapradesh ’. I thank my colleague Mr Sripad Rao, for his editing work in this venture.
I felt elated on one of the occasions of Buddha Purnima, when Patriji has awarded me the title, ‘ Dhyana Ratna ’ in recognition of my small work. I also felt greatly honored when Brahmarshi Patriji attended the convocation recently when I was conferred with the Post Graduation Degree, Master of Science [ Yoga ] in Jan 07 by a Deemed University in Bangalore.
Everyday of mine begins with one hour of meditation. Meditation is the only medicine for me in all demanding situations. I have dedicated myself to meditation and to the propagation there of.
Member of Pyramid Spiritual Trust (India), Bangalore &
Founder of the Bangalore Pyramid Spiritual Society
708, 11th Cross, 7th Main, JP Nagar, III Phase, BANGALORE 560078
Ph : 9449831788 Phone : (R) 080 28441788