" My Journey Towards Myself "
“ You will soon get help for Meditation ! ”
I am Suniti Sharma. I was born and brought up in Delhi in an educated, reputed and respected family with a thoroughly enjoyable childhood.
Despite being married in a respectable family of Doctors and having three beautiful children, a post graduate degree in obstetrics and gynaecologist by profession ... and having a decent government job with Indian Railways ... yet, I was leading more or less a mechanical life and kept feeling something ‘ missing ’.
I wasn’t a very spiritual person ... yet, I was deeply religious.
Apart from a couple of experiences in the childhood, which had lot of impact as a child, I used often to play as a ‘ Child Krishna ’ in the lush green gardens in my dreams. Once, ‘ Hanuman ’ showed me the exam paper of Hindi two hours before the schedule in my dream ... as I was too sick to go for exams and it was Board examination.
Once while going to Vaishnodevi temple in Jammu, I got the darshan of maa durga on the way itself and the high fever lasting for ten days vanished with no traces of weakness whatsoever !
However, I was longing for something more ... I didn’t know what it was. I was experiencing lot of restlessness, etc.
I was having many interests in various fields like ... giving health programmes on Doordarshan, opportunities to perform in telefilms ... I was a good painter ... teaching pranic healing in my medical profession for holistic treatment of the patients etc. yet, there was an emptiness in life ....
In the year 1984, the first seeds of spirituality were sown by Brahmarshi Patriji ... whom I had known as ‘ bucchi uncle ’ ( his pet-name in his family ), who introduced so many new words in my vocabulary of spirituality !
I learnt so many new terms like ‘ silvercord ’, ‘ astral body ’, ‘ astral world ’, various other bodies of ours, explanation about ‘ phantom limb ’ etc. ... all of which I found very fascinating and my first session lasted from 11 pm. in the night to 5 am. in the morning ... without even a blink of eye along with my friend Dr. Sudha Koduri ... elder sister of Patriji.
In the year 1996, my restlessness increased to such a pitch that I started desperately to pine for my guru. When the student is ripe to start on the spiritual path the guru himself makes an appearance ! And, for me, it happened in a dramatic way !
One fine day, while I was resting in the duty room of the hospital where I was working, while reading the book of Vivekananda on Raja Yoga, something compelled me to look sideways and lo and behold ... none other than Sai Baba sitting and smiling on the sofa was lying there ! It was 28th October 1996, I was puzzled and elated and it lasted for about forty five seconds !
I did not talk about this to anyone but then there were so many things, experiences, dreams happening one after the other in my life ... I knew intuitively that I was heading for ‘ something ’ !
Since then, there was no looking back on the onward inner journey.
Within a week of that, I had another experience at Mumbai where I had gone for a conference. The last day of my stay there it was midnight ... I was sleeping ... yet, I was awakened by a bright golden white light all around ! And here again ... I saw Sai Baba sitting by my bedside ... and he told me so many things, which he said would unfold over time !
Another five months, I happened to go for a workshop to U.S.A. and Canada ... wherein, apart from many significant happenings, throughout the six weeks tour I had just two words ringing in my ear ... “ do meditation ”, I started getting restless as to :
Who’s voice was it ?
What is meditation ?
How to do meditation ?
Where should I learn to do meditation ?
I was longing to reach India and home and the day I reached ... I sat in the ‘ pooja room ’ of my house with eyes closed with all the questions in my mind ... to get some direction and behold ...... and lo it was Sai Baba over the third eye screen again ... dictating me many things about the future and said “ You will soon get help for meditation ”.
Shortly, Patriji happened to come to Delhi and I happened to come in contact with him after a long gap of fourteen years ... and the super specialist in the science of meditation taught me the correct way of meditation !
The impact of his words was so powerful ... it stays on with me till today ! His inspirational statement was : “ Once you know about the final goal of your life ... why not try to achieve it first and then live life king-size ! ”
His method of teaching was very simple, calming, soothing ... yet very concrete and effective. Although the impact was very strong, I discontinued meditation after about six months, as I could not spare more time due to the job and family responsibilities.
However, I continued communion with Sai Baba and during meditation there was an ushering of visions of great beings like Buddha, Shiva, Hanuman, Einstein, Jesus Christ, Lord Krishna, etc.
I also happened to have the glimpse of my previous birth as a monastic in a Himalyan cave.
One fine day, while in meditation, I saw a long fair hand coming towards my forehead and it touched with the thumb which turned into a flame in my inner gaze and I was engulfed in a feeling of heat and tingling sensation in the physical body at the ajna chakra. Slowly, the flame transformed into a live Shirdi Sai ... which stayed for full nine days of navratri. It was such a very blissful feeling ! I could not see anything else without first seeing My Beloved Sai with eyes open ... and like a pasted photo on my third eye screen in my inner gaze ... I had the vision continuously for full nine days.
On the tenth day ( which happens to be his maha samadhi day ) , I saw him getting up from his stone throne and walking up to a garden and he sat under a tree on a bench and I had the wonderful darshan of Sai Trinity.
The experience is as live in me, now, as it was nine years back !
Another time, during meditation, I saw the purification process being done on me in four stages, each one on a different day of meditation.
I saw hundreds of Masters sitting and chanting together in a strong vibrating repetitive omkar around the havan kund, which was a flame and I saw myself standing in the havan kund with no feeling of pain at all.
After a few days, the next stage was shown where-in, my half body being black turning to grey. The next stage was that whole body turned into ashes collection in the havan kund as a heap of ashes and the final one it was shown that Sai Baba was sitting by that side of havan kund and was saying : “ all your old samskaras have been burnt ” and he blessed me with his smile !
One very frequent vision I used to have was ... the whole third eye screen would turn into a liquid metal which would take the shape of Shirdi Sai Baba and melting back again into formless. I would often see a tall fair figure of Shirdi Sai ... mixed amidst crowds in a market-place or so and then disappearing.
My second phase of meditation started some months back when I was desperately feeling that my inner progress had come to a standstill for almost an year.
I was really begging The Almighty for help and once again Patriji was there to give me a big jolt and push, after a gap of another nine years which was very much required ! Thus, materializing my vision of sitting inside a pyramid which was tied in the form of a gift from top with a calm feeling of home-coming with a light hearted feeling. It was a gift from above indeed !
Meditation changed my life dramatically ! A sharp turn indeed ... inwardly. I now understand the meaning of meditation. It means to unwind oneself back to the core ... and recognizing the all powerful SELF. And, in that unwinding, you will face so many ups and downs in the form of obstacles.
As my understanding was unfolding, many things became absolutely clear ! Obstacles do occur in this path ... because of past negative karma. However, because of meditation, there is a clear shortening of karmic negativity. Many births do get compressed into a couple of births perhaps ! May be, the present life time will even become the ... ‘ last one ’ !
While walking on this path, one will find peace and calmness on one side and simultaneously restlessness of another type ... spiritual type ... on the other side !
With meditation, I feel increase in awareness, expansion of consciousness, clarity of thoughts and intuitive wisdom.
Throughout this inner journey, I was constantly helped in various ways ... like meeting the right type of people and reading the right type of inspirational books.
I was fortunate to read ... Shivananda, Vivekananda, Sai literature, Ramakrishna Paramhansa, YSS literature by Paramhansa Yogananda ... other New Age spiritual books as suggested by Mr. Sai Kumar Reddy, and my friend Dr. Sudha.
The first book to start with was “ Autobiography of a Yogi ” by Paramahansa Yogananda, back in the year 1983, given by none other than Patriji !
I do have an intense desire to inspire people towards the benefits of meditation, relying on their inner energies instead of depending wholly on medication.
I thank a million times The Almighty, which is within me ... Unseen Power called God ... for giving me continuous help and special thanks to my enlightened teacher ... Patriji ... for the help, for accomplishing the tenuous journey of myself to my SELF !
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